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Post by Koneko Kikaimoto on Sept 18, 2017 7:18:25 GMT -5
 Food. Koneko Kikaimoto's greatest enemy. For years the existence of food had taunted her relentlessly, with no hope of relief or escape. Her sensors had always been picking up the warm, delicious scents, but always left her with a feeling of... well a crude yet accurate way to put it would be 'blue balls' (despite the fact that Koneko is a robot, and thus does not have human testicles of any kind). Today, however... today was going to be different. During the cooking contest, she'd almost made it. In hindsight, she was really, really glad that she didn't, but there was still a truth in there somewhere--for a robot that couldn't eat, Koneko was good-ass cook. Perhaps it wasn't as much of an art to her, but a science. A robot with a technical mind could easily parse something like that effortlessly. Koneko was a robot with many, many weaknesses, most of which being emotional, but... maybe today she could tackle one of them. Perhaps that would be enough. ...God, she was ridiculous. How the hell is learning how to COOK going to help her!? How is that going to somehow make her feel better!? Whether or not she can throw together a stupid dish of heated-up dead animals and plucked plants didn't change the fact she'd ruined her entire life over a boy she'd barely knew, and now-- ...No, thinking is hard. Koneko decides to just bang her head on the wall while screaming instead. you cant wake up - this is not a dream |
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Post by Liam Dayton on Sept 20, 2017 1:21:59 GMT -5
It's been a strange past few weeks. I've experienced every emotion I possibly could have. I fell into an even worse depression than I was already in when I found Kris lying on the beach, never to wake again, I lost complete control over my temper when I found out Valentina murdered Kris for her own crazy delusions, and I felt true happiness again when Ben came back. If I make it out of here, I'm getting some help. I can't work out all of these emotions on my own.
"A-Am I i-interrupting something?"
I walked into the pantry, and found quite the surprise. Today, I wasn't trying to find any trouble. I wasn't going to let myself do something stupid and have Ben and I separated again. So of course that means I managed to walk in on Koneko having a... moment. I'll call it that to not sound rude.
"Koneko, are y-you okay?"
Clearly she wasn't. I don't even know why I asked. She was screaming and banging her head against the wall. There is literally no part of that saying she's okay. Besides, I don't think she can hear a word I'm saying, anyways. That might be for the best, actually. We aren't really on the best of terms right now, so her noticing me while she's doing whatever it is she's doing might be bad.
"I'm j-just gonna go and, uh, give you some time to get over whatever it is y-you're troubled over..."
Should I really just go and leave her here? She's clearly having some sort of issue. I did swear to protect everybody here, and that should apply to more than just physical harm. Someone should go and talk to her about this. I should at least let her calm down before I try anything, though. Here's hoping she just doesn't immediately attack me, verbally or physically, once she realizes I'm here.
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Post by Koneko Kikaimoto on Sept 20, 2017 6:35:43 GMT -5
Koneko whipped around to look at Liam, her one good eye wide with... well, the emotion could really only be described as 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa', which isn't terribly specific, yet I believe that somehow the message is universal enough to make it across. For a moment, every part of her tenses up, and she grits her teeth as her expression hardens into a glare, until... She sighs, and everything loosens. Her arms droop to her side and her shoulders sag, melting away all of her prior tenseness as if it were nothing but butter in the warm summer sun. Koneko had tried to hate Liam, and for awhile, it worked. In a way, he was to blame for Ren's death, but now... she'd heard it in his voice--he was the only person stuck in this damn game that understood how she felt. He understood the feeling of... well... Losing someone they loved to this stupid game. As wounding as it was to her pride... Koneko decides to grant Liam some honesty. "I tried to come in here to... well, cook. Y-You remember how I challenged Fiammes before, right? I... I said I'd become a better cook than him, despite not being able to taste," she admitted, and she quickly found herself saying more and more without even intending it. "...I don't understand. My processor for emotion is broken. I broke it myself, but... I'm feeling again, and I hate it. Anger, sadness, fear... perhaps even a brief taste of happiness, and most of all..."She looked at Liam once more, and cursed herself as she once again saw herself in him. "Empathy."you cant wake up - this is not a dream |
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Post by Liam Dayton on Sept 21, 2017 1:45:16 GMT -5
For that moment, I thought I was dead. The way she looked at me, it conveyed nothing but angry panic. I braced myself for the incoming impact, but it never came. Instead, she just glared at me with a look I didn't think I'd ever see from her. For once, she didn't seem dead anymore. I guess nobody can stop feeling the way they do, no matter how much effort they put into it, whether it be denying your feelings to yourself all of your life, or trying to completely destroy your emotions in complete heartbreak.
"E-Empathy?"
I know what she's getting at. She had Ren and I had Kris. We both cared for them, and we both lost them. In a way, we really aren't that different. Isn't it funny, in some really weird and kind of morbid way, that two people that could never get along happen to share similar circumstances? Maybe it's just that we handled it so differently. I blamed myself and fell into an even worse spot than I was already in, while she saw Ren die right in front of her and tried to stop feeling. I was emotional and she was emotionless.
"I understand how you f-feel. All of these feelings running through my h-head, and I don't know how to handle any of them. It's been like that for years. I've never found p-peace in my head ever since it all began with Ben, and going through this awful killing game and w-watching us all die... seeing Kris dead, it's only m-made things worse."
The days I lost those two were the worst days of my life. The first time completely changed me as a person. I became a stuttering wreck that hid how he felt about that day to everyone he knew. The second time reminded me that no matter what, a disaster can always happen. You can care as much as you want, but if fate says he dies, then he dies.
"I d-don't think you should hate being able to feel again. Trying to stop y-yourself from feeling the way you do is just going to lead to regret when you realize you missed your chance to tell s-someone how you really feel. Whether you felt angry, or sad, or... in l-love..."
I had the chance to tell him, but instead I took those precious opportunities denying it to myself. Now, he's gone. I'll never be able to tell him. The worst part is, that's never going to go away. That's going to stick with me for the rest of my life, however short that might be.
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Post by Koneko Kikaimoto on Sept 21, 2017 6:48:02 GMT -5
Koneko looked away, glaring down at the floor as if it'd somehow personally offended her. However, the hateful expression reflected an entirely internal feeling--towards herself, not Liam. She was silent for a moment, before shaking her head and speaking up again. "I don't understand why I ever wanted to be human," she confessed, biting her lip, "it's painful. I could barely handle the feeling of loss once, and... then I was forced to feel it again, barely years later."Koneko was a bit prideful at times, for that was one of her (admittedly many) flaws. She knew she should apologize for how she mistreated Liam, especially since he was extended so much kindness towards her in this moment. Struggling to swallow her pride like an oversized, bitter pill, she forced the words out. "I... I'm sorry for how I've been treating you, Dayton. It's... not fair."you cant wake up - this is not a dream |
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Post by Liam Dayton on Oct 2, 2017 3:20:57 GMT -5
"Koneko, I..."
Part of me wants to believe that I should be furious about the way she treated me, that I should be getting mad with her. Some of the things she's said to me have poured salt in pre-existing wounds. Even as I was crying over Kris, she managed to get out a comment in an attempt to make me feel even worse. I want to be mad.
"I forgive you."
But I can't. We've both been through so much of the same terrible stuff that I couldn't fault her if I tried. Besides, I've felt the same way she has. Her way of dealing with things isn't that far off from mine. I've lashed out at others too. The only difference was circumstances. I had a victim and she had a killer.
"W-Who would have thought that the t-two of us would have s-so many things in common? Loss and the d-despair that comes with it just seem to stick right to us. Whoever's r-running this thing must be laughing right now. They m-managed to make the two people that c-couldn't stand each other to be the ones that understand what the other was g-going through best."
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Post by Koneko Kikaimoto on Oct 2, 2017 7:14:46 GMT -5
Koneko managed a weak, bitter laugh. "It's... a sick joke, isn't it? But... the reason we never got along..." she stumbled a bit, once again limited by her own pride, but she pushed through, "the reason I hated you was entirely my own design. I... I didn't have a tangible enemy to blame for Ren's fate. I had Monokuma, sure, as well as the Future Foundation... but they weren't something I could actually fight back against... not right now, at least."She sighed, managing to pull a small smile to her face. "I am surprised to hear you forgive me. You know I've punched your friend Nero around three times now, yes? I'm a rather venomous kind of person... er, robot. It's unusual to see someone even want to forgive me."you cant wake up - this is not a dream |
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Post by Liam Dayton on Oct 2, 2017 14:04:13 GMT -5
"And I just happened to be unlucky enough to be caught in your sights. I don't think it was completely wrong to blame me, though. I could have... I could have saved Excrest if I had just heard someone at my door, and then Ren wouldn't have been executed. He wouldn't have died, and we w-wouldn't be the way we are right now."
I wouldn't have hit the low I've hit now, and Koneko wouldn't have tried to stop being human. We wouldn't be forced to see loss again. We could have been just fine in the manor, we could have found a way out. There's so many 'we could haves' but we didn't act out on any of them.
"The d-deaths we've seen, they've been picking at me. I can't help but feel responsible for all of them. It always feels like if I was just b-better than I am, I could have stopped them all."
I couldn't even save the person I loved. Shows what kind of person I am. He's dead now, and it's all because I couldn't pay proper attention to the right things. In a way, I'm part of the reason he died.
"You p-punched Nero again? Why? Did he try and take the candle again?"
Did he try and do something like take Ren's candle again? I should have been a better bodyguard, I could have stopped him from acting out like that again.
"How am I supposed to n-not forgive you? I've acted the same way. I just ended up lashing out at myself more than anyone else. We're both still trying to find a way to deal with what we've seen and l-lost, and blaming ourselves and others seems to be the only thing we can think of."
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Post by Koneko Kikaimoto on Oct 2, 2017 15:47:08 GMT -5
"...really, it is I that should bear the blame of these deaths. When it comes in order of importance... I should go first in line to die. I'm... not even alive, after all. I could sustain heavy damage that halts all functioning... but then just be fixed later." She sighed and looked down. "I punched Nero because I was frustrated and he was just there. I'm... violent and unhinged. You may feel guilty because you couldn't save anyone... but I'm guilty because I didn't die instead." you cant wake up - this is not a dream |
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